Panamanian Prostitute…’it is what it is’ - by Sandy

Why are you wasting your time reading this blog? Well, if you insist, then let me tell you a little about myself. I’m Mexican-American, morena, and a self-described hot Latina. Don’t hate, learn from this.

Oh yes, I’m one of the lucky ones that didn’t grow up hating my skin color and thinking I was ugly b/c I was dark. You see, growing up in South Texas a few decades ago and being morena/prieta was not a good combo. I’m from the Rio Grande Valley, which borders Mexico, where people were too busy trying to separate themselves from the ‘mojados’ - including some relatives who were, funny enough, from Mexico. Now don’t think this affliction is limited to border towns, because if history has taught us anything, it’s that the darker your skin, the more unwanted you are.

So I heard it all, from Blackie in middle school, to ‘hurraca negra’ (translation = black crow) from some pendejo a few years ago whose wife I represented when I practiced family law in the Valley. And yes, that pendejo was darker than me, and as delusional as the rest of ‘em, but that’s for another time and another blog.

So how the hell did I become so damn confident? Well, I was always smart in school, had my own little clique in elementary and was a fast runner, so I got praised for those things. The irony of all this? When I moved to different states I always got a lot of praise from white teachers who probably didn’t expect this from a ’Mexican’ migrant farmworker, so in expecting less of me and expressing their surprise in the form of praise, they created a monster! But enough about me, let’s get to the topic at hand.

So I was really excited b/c I had this audition for Friday Night Lights today for a microscopic role that you’ll miss if you blink! It’s a mere two lines as a hospital receptionist and chances are slim to none that I’ll get it, so ask me why I’m so excited? Because I don’t have to speak it with an accent and I get to be American - I think it’s called art imitating life ;)! So why does a receptionist role thrill me when I’m a professional in ‘real life’ and many would regard this as a step down?

Because they didn’t want me to audition as a stereotype, just as a regular person - no accent required. I have auditioned for two really popular shows airing on national television and one big budget movie starring Drew Barrymore, all of which have required me to either have an accent or be a prostitute. Now don’t get me wrong, practicing my accent and flashing some skin helps me hone my craft, but enough already! BTW, I almost landed the Panamanian prostitute role, and was thrilled at the thought. Hilarious, huh?

Speaking of…today I was chatting with an actor who was auditioning for FNL as well, and got yet another dose of reality. He starts complaining about auditioning for a dad role, as opposed to the usual lawyer/doctor roles he reads for, and is embarrassed to admit he’s not up for the CEO role. So I tell him that at least he doesn’t have to audition as a prostitute or with an accent for a role.  His response?   ‘Well, it is what it is’…what the F*&% is that!?!

Does anyone see the humor in all this? I couldn’t stop smiling and couldn’t wait to get out of there so I could make fun of this idiot out loud. Did I mention he’s an airline flight attendant who later wanted me to give him advice about his 18 yr-old-son who had a ‘hard’ life?

What do I say to that? Well, it is what it is.