Despite all evidence to the contrary, national pundits like immigration-obsessed CNN host Lou Dobbs disingenuously pretend there is no racial aspect to the current immigration policy “discussion”.
Dobbs: “Mention of Mexicans’ filthy brown skin has no place in a proper immigration debate.”
One of the most fascinating developments of the Latino Comedy Project’s “300″ video’s far-flung international exposure (over ONE MILLION VIEWS on YouTube, bitches!) has been the intense response it’s provoked in the comments section. Specifically, the video’s ironic and exaggerated use of immigration”invasion” imagery seems to have provoked an endless stream of comments that can most charitably be categorized as “Vintage Retro-Racist Harangue Chic.”
Vintage Racist.
Our nation’s closet racists are often unfairly stereotyped as a monolithic group, but in fact, I’ve discovered that their prolific writings represent an intellectually diverse strain of thought. So I’ve organized their “300″ comments into categories accurately reflecting both the content of the comments and the character of their authors (my own running observations are in bold italics).
Are these comments “monolithic”? Hardly. “Unsettling”? Perhaps. “Fucking stupid as shit and richly deserving of a merciless Mexican beatdown the likes of which haven’t been seen since the infamous Latin Kings Involuntary Beat-In Massacre of ‘89″?
Let’s not rush to judgment.
Coming Soon to White Suburbia: The Latin Kings “Bridges To Tolerance” Tour.
A single blog entry isn’t nearly enough to adequately explore all facets of this subculture, so it will be divided into several parts. Keep in mind: this is not a parody of racist comments. These are actual comments by actual persons somewhere in the United States who took the time to actually type these words.
Let’s begin with the more basic psychological deficits and work our way down, shall we…?
THE IRONICALLY CHALLENGED
HVPinc: “…It was like watching a documentary.”
jcc6767: “This [video] was a very well done piece of historical fact.”
Historically accurate Mexican orange-slinging.
THE MILITARY PORN FANTASIST
      Never let it be said these people aren’t “solution-oriented…”- A.
Hpeviscerate: “OK, I think I got it…. Suffice it to say, we need a giant mionefield (sic) across the border and if that dont work mines, pungee pits, motion-sensitive, fully-automatic sentry guns, and border dogs. then maybe a wall…”
ar15expert : “Two .50 Cal. M2 BMG crews and some land mines. Problem solved.”
boozehound420: “1 gattling gun wielding texan and there (sic) all gone.”
Lean, mean comment-postin’ machine.
camilleinchicago: “Notice how the only weapons they use (brooms, pregnant bellies) are things that don’t require a brain to operate. Bring in a couple AC-130’s and we’ll be in business.”
My money’s on the belly.
jcc6767 : “A Sniper every 1000 yds is only three per mile…..or a total of 5,100 snipers in 8 hr shifts for a grand total of 15,300 troops for the entire border….It’s very workable and should be implemented….. The amount of money our country would save would pay for the deployment 100 times over annually.”
      Psychotic, yet fiscally responsible. I like!- A.
“jcc6767 weporting for supah-dupah deadly elite ninja-samuwai-astwonaut-Jedi-sniper duty, sir! Heh-heh-heh-heh!”
THE AMATEUR ETHNOLOGISTS
SourBreastMilk: “Mexicans are just the mutt offspring of the noble Spanish and the filthy heart eating natives.”
YoungRoy: “What culture? Your country has garbage fields, pregnant girls and drunken men. Oh, yeah. I’d hate to leave that behind. :/ ”
“Despite the illusion of communicating through an oral orifice, the Amateur Ethnologist is actually speaking out his asshole.”
AmazonChitlin: “Best at making anchor babies, yes. Best at making a taco, yes. Best at blowing leaves off my porch, yes. Best people? No.”
      Was this commenter’s conception the best use of human DNA? No. -A.
Cribster: “This reflects the true nature of the invaders, not that ‘just here to work’ BS.”
Ooga001: “you filthy beaner. STFU. go back to your sombrero touting beaner country you pinche putta. lol. Don’t you dare compare Gandhi to you strawberry-picking wetbacks! you worthless beaners just steal, commit other crimes, fuck all day and make children, and fuck up the whole place.”
      Commit crimes and fuck all day? Shit, I WISH. - A
AllStar182: “i wouldn’t mind so much if they came here LEGALLY, and if 80% of them weren’t slobs who litter and play their crappy music ridiculously loud.”
      “Rollin’ in my Six-Fo, bumpin’ Los Tigres Del Norte, fuck tha mundo!” - A.
“But this accordion goes to eleven - Del Norte SIIIIDE!”
matthewdoodledog: “As a white person I am not offended by this video. Although it is a 100% accurate description of how mexicans and brazilians enter the country, like the freeloading child rearing wetbacks they are”
      Ha ha, see? No need for anyone to be offended…No, wait. -A.
ThunderNoTube: “Only the mestizo could approach the nappiness of the lowly negro. These short, squat, brown, dim-witted caricatures of earliest Humanity are appalling to all that are unfortunate enough to observe them. They have no value in this or any other nation. NO war for Israel!”
      Webster’s Dictionary defines a “non sequitur” as “a statement that appears logically unrelated to the preceding Israeli cyborg assassins walk among us.” -A.
“Prime Directive 4: Mazeltov!”
This concludes Part 1. You’ve been warned: The surface has yet nary a scratch.
Future installments coming soon!
